Me myself and i

In all honesty I'm comfortable with where I'm at now in life. I'm growing with god. Not to say our relationship is any better but I have faith in the potential. But I'm realizing how strong I am. I have a heart of gold. And I'm just waiting for that person to steal it away. But we're gonna do things right. And I wanna spend time learning what kind of person god created in me. I like me. I'm pretty cool. And since I'm stronger now I'm not afraid of myself anymore. I've found that lately I've kept a lot of secrets letting few people know few things. Because I don't know who I am just right yet. I'm figuring myself out. Decoding myself. Who I am. It was a bumpy road coming here. But I'm here and safe. It's safe to say that at a point I was scared of myself. My mind can hurt people and it liked to hurt me. By installing irrational fears. Making me think less of myself. That I was so terrible or did something so terrible even though I've done everything possible to be the best person in my soul that I can be. I will never disappoint myself again. I'm a strong women of god. And one day yes I will join him. Until then... There's a great life out there to be lived and I was put here to live it to the fullest. Now in some eyes that means fun. In everyway... Sleeping around doing drugs stealing drinking partying. In my eyes that means... Loving. Loving with every ounce of my being. Love is so beautiful so amazing so breath- taking. It's the only thing out there to live for. I'm so glad to have gotten over this huge hump in my life and now I can focus on Ashley. And who this remarkable young lady is.