Goodbye?

In many ways, I wanna pretend that I'm not about to do this. That I'm truly not about to say this. But truth is I am. And it's what I truly feel. You and I at one time had something beautiful. What we shared was love. We neve fought; we never had an problems with jealousy. We always wanted to be around each other. All the time. We were happy. Me and you were a terrific combination. Then you fucked up, by trying to get in my pants. I believe good things come to those who wait. Not those who press the issue to the point of no return. I should have stopped then: I shouldn't had chased you. But I did. Then we survived. Things were great. Absolutely amazing. When you laid me down to sleep and cuddled me and sang to me till I didn't respond to your name. Then when I woke up you told me " go check your car" when I walked outside you were there and my heart skipped a beat. You wrote all these notes did all these great things. You made me truly believe I found fucking prince charming. Then. You betrayed every single thing that ever happened between us. You betrayed my heart and me. You betrayed our future. Our past: and our love. For one fucking thing. For a sluts fucking nasty ass vagina. You ripped my heart out for that. After that we honestly hated each other. I hated you for causing me pain. And I wasnt going to let it happen again. Why do you think I got so controlling. Why the fuck was I so stupid. Someone who does that couldnt possibly love me. That's fucking a line of shit. I'll tell you why. I didn't want to be fucking alone. I hate myself for that fucking fear. Then my dad hurt me. In ways you and savannah alone know. And I calapsed in your arms and in that moment I knew just how much I wanted you. How much I needed you. I wasn't alone in that moment. You were with me in that moment. Then and only the. I thought we have a fucking chance. We can make it. He does love me. But I don't know what happened we just kept fighting and things kept falling apart and shit kept being said. But we fell apart. And I don't have the glue now. I'm too far broken. I keep thinking how you slept with her. And how sick it fucking makes me. How every time I think about it I want to rip my heart out of my chest from just how bad it hurts. And it eats at me all the fucking time. I fucking picture that nasty skank on you. I hate you and I hate her. That isnt what the fuck love is. You say I don't understand you. But truth is. That's not it at all. Something died and now we are no longer compatiable. We don't fit together anymore. As much as it hurts inside and even though I may change my mind again and again... Now or later goodbye is our fate. I no longer feel safe in your coverage. I feel like a victim. I never wanted this from us. I wanted you for
Us. But I can't always get what I want I can only get what God hands me. This was a lesson for us both. Treat your soulmate better please? I think mines still out there.