I'm falling apart.

Everyday gettin up and moving is getting harder and harder. Every breathe is weaker and weaker. All I want to do is sleep eat and shower nothin else curves my appetite. I can't explain it.. This time a year ago I told my parents I was depressed... Did it help? No. I'm fucking falling apart. My strength is failing. I can't trust anyone. Every fucking body lets me down anyways. It's funny how nobody cares. And all I want is you. You wrecked my life. Your a terrible fucki g diasaster but I would love to feel your warmth. I just want someone! To fucking love me, even though I know I'm not worth it. I'm sorry world. I'm so damn terrible. All these rumors and drama and you have to add your own little bit? You have to push me just that much more. This depression is sucking me up whole. A look in the mirror and I see failure and mistakes. I just want to do a vanishing act. Just get away to somewhere else. I am so stressed and so lost. I work everyday all the time to just pass the time. How else do I do it?? I'm so alone it hurts. The anger just gets worse and worse.. The pain just gets worse and worse. I hate you, I never loved you. I wanted to. I wanted love. That's all I cared about. I just wanted someone anyone to accept me and tell me I don't do everything wrong that I am worth something...to hold me while I tremble. To be my rock and my strength... I thought you coulda been. Only cuz I am out of options.. Forget you. You left me broken after you promised to fix me...

Heading down

Im on a nose dive down. To the bottom of this pit.I'm falling apart. My strength is failing. I just want to be beautiful. But I'm not.im sick. I've made my mistakes and I'm still making them. So let me fall apart and break. Let one more little action break me. Break this heart. Break these flood gates. Let It rain, let it pour. Let me fall. Let me hit bottom. Break me. Let me fall. And let me loose all hope. In more than just humanity but everything I believe in. Let me give up on sick hope. Let it go. Then cry alone. Then my lord reach your hand to me and comfort me. Than pick me up. Than give me the strength to climb these mountains. Let me become all yours. Lett me be your broken survivor.